There are 3 basic reasons we do not enjoy the present and these brain machinations keep us from enjoying the present and then potentially the future as well.

• We are living too in the past [memory]
• We are living too much in the future [dreaming of what is ahead]
• We have a fear of change

Now for you and me it may not be that hard to reach our dreams,
But that magic feeling never seems to last.

And while the future’s there for anyone to change,

Don’t you know it seems

It would be easier sometimes to change the past.

[Jackson Browne; Fountain of Sorrow]

Too many of us fail to live in the present because it seems to be the nature of the human brain or mind to skip over what is happening and to dwell on the what-ifs of the past and/or the I-wills of the future.

If we could change the past as the lyrics say – would we? Would we make different choices? It’s an idea to ponder but in reality we can only change the future by changing the present choices – not actually undoing previous ones.

The past is easy to think about precisely because it already happened! We do not need to invent that reality. We replay events wondering what if we had acted differently or had not done a specific action or had done an action.

We can easily depress ourselves via this course of thinking because there is nothing we can do and we feel helpless.

Or we can think about the future and what we will do “when”

• When we have enough money
• When we are married
• When we are happy
• When we feel like doing [whatever it is]

Thinking ahead about “whens” is different than making actual plans for those “whens” or actually moving toward them.

And there are some “whens” that are too vague or too distant or too unrealistic to get us moving toward them.

Many of our “whens” are actually thoughts we use to protect ourselves from any real or imagined failures.

Which leads to the 3rd barrier – fear of change. We as humans like inertia – even if it is an inertia that keeps us stuck in an uncomfortable place. It is one of the odd conditions of being human that this happens.

So we remain rehashing the past or putting up future “whens” to keep us feeling safe rather than getting outside of our own minds and creating that change for our own futures.